An open letter to my pregnant self,
I know you are enjoying this time of connecting with your baby, the many wriggles, kicks and inner feelings of love you receive are wonderful. I know you are enjoying keeping this baby safe within you, going on adventures with your family and friends before this baby arrives. But I also know you are worried. You are worried about who this baby is, how they are going to change your dynamics in life and whether you will cope.
Let me tell you now, you will cope and you will be an amazing mummy, you will figure it out.
One word of advice I would give you is … Forget you’ve been a nanny!!
For many years whilst nannying you’ve thought about all the experience you are gaining and the many conversations you have had with the wonderful mummy’s in you care. You have observed so many different ways to care for a child both in theory books and in reality. When you are pregnant and have a small child, you will revisit these books, the conversations you had and recall the routines some families had.
But once your baby is here they are YOURS, he or she will have a beautiful mix of you and your partners DNA, you will notice parts in her that you recognise in each of you whether you like them in yourself or not, they will be there reflecting back at you, ready for you to face and learn from.
You will be told “Don’t worry, you’ve been a nanny, you know what to do” but all your years of experience will disappear out of that window, along with sleep and normality (for a while) you will be just like those mums in your care wanting someone to discuss to, everything seems overwhelming and confusing in the first few months as a new mum.
My advice to you; don’t be afraid to ask, to research and to always talk it out.
You have many contacts through all your years of nannying, you are able to recognise some early warning signals (try not to over think them) and you have an element of knowing what’s coming, but can still be surprised when it arrives. Talk to your friends, ask them questions, research different parenting styles, But ALWAYS remember to have some quiet time and just listen in.
You are now the main carer; you are the one to make the choices and have the ability to change them. Use your GUT sense to work out what really feels right for you.
Speaking out isn’t going to make you any less of a nanny, a woman or a mum. You are Human!
Speak up and make a little community around yourself, both for online people to follow and inspire and also those friends or family you can ring at a moment notice to have a cry and a cuddle to. The smallest of things will appear the biggest of problems, but only in that moment, you will look back and forget how much you questioned yourself.
So enjoy this pregnancy, the dreams about what’s to come and the reality of living that. The time goes soo quickly, try not to dwell too much on each moment but embrace what’s to come.
Lots of Love,
A Mother who is working her way through this crazy journey as a mother. Owning her parenting style, changing it up every so often, questioning herself, but always ALWAYS parenting from the heart
A massive Thank-You to those friends who have been so supportive on this ride, Those I have had the blessing to meet whilst being a mummy and those that have stuck by me whilst seeing me develop into a mumma. A special thank-you to those I walk through these times with, our babies are similar ages but our worries can be different, we are holding each other’s hand and heart to continue one little step at a time!